Queen Sized Candace
by Chrome Cougar
Summary: Following a week long food tasting vacation, Candace puts on extra weight. Now with some help from friends and family, she works to get back to her normal self.


Queen Sized Candace

Story by Dylan Carbonell

Written by Dylan Carbonell and Darren Heideman

[We open on Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. where an orange colored beam shoots out, followed by an explosion. Quickly following that, Perry is seen paragliding away to safety.]

Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[At the Flynn-Fletcher home, Candace hops about and points towards the backyard.]

Candace: Mom, Dad! Mom, Dad! Look, look, look, look, look!

[Linda sighs and she and Lawrence head to the yard. There, Candace has her back to the yard, and folds her arms and smirks.]

Candace: Now tell me you don't see any solar powered, hovercraft bumper cars right in front of your very eyes.

Linda: We don't see any solar powered, hovercraft bumper cars right in front of our very eyes.

[Candace turns to see that there is only her brothers and their friends in the empty backyard. In utter shock, drops to her knees.]

Candace: WHERE...DID...IT...GO?! (sobs)

[Phineas and Ferb and their friends slowly walk past Candace.]

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

[As Candace carries on, her parents watch her, concerned looks on their faces.]

Linda: Lawrence, I'm worried about Candace. Even more than usual. I think she needs to get away for a few days.

Lawrence: Hmm, I might know just the thing. (hands Linda a pamphlet) People were going around sticking these to windshields.

[Linda looks at it and sees it advertising a culinary event, highlighted by food tasting.]

Linda: Oh, Candace...

[Sometime later, Candace is dropped off at the docks. Various people are already boarding the ship.]

Linda: Have a great time, honey. Be sure to try and get some recipes.

[On the culinary camp cruise, Candace is standing in a line, wearing a sort of bib with fake food and ketchup stains on it. She then, like a little kid, lightly tugs on the bib of the girl standing next to her. The girl turns her head over to Candace.]

Girl: What is it?

Candace: Um... yeah, what exactly does being a food taster entail?

Girl: Y-You're really asking me this?

Candace: Well, I just wanna know what qualifications I have to meet in order to do this job properly.

Girl: You just eat whatever they serve you.

Candace: Wait, so all that's required is to sit back, relax, and eat?

Girl: Uh, yeah.

Candace: Well, this should quite literally be a piece of cake. So, um... how exactly do we eat whatever course this is?

Girl (Mutters to self): Idiot!

[A bunch of cooks then come through the door with a very large table on wheels filled with many dishes covered with serving lids. Candace's eyes follow the rolling table the rolling table across the floor, as she has an intrigued look on her face. The main cook then stands in front of the table.]

Chef: Attention all tasters, prepare to be amazed by this special new kind of dessert we have created specifically for this special dessert culinary camp. So without further delay, here it is... Sucre Baobab.

[The serving lid is lifted to reveal this unique gelatin cake, shaped like a Baobab tree with a fireworks explosion shape on top of it covered in colored frosting and various fruits. We cut to Candace with a wide eyed mouth watering expression, where we see the dessert reflected in her eyes as she licks her lips in anticipation.]

Chef: So, which one of you would like to be the first volunteer to taste this? (He covers his eyes and plays "Eeny meeny miny moe" with his finger, and his finger lands on Candace) How about you, little lady?

Candace: Me? Well... okay. (Walks up to the cake) Now, let's see, what exact flavor this is? (She sticks her finger in the frosting, examines it, and takes a lick, and her eyes light up as she realizes she likes what she tastes, she then takes another lick of frosting, and loves it even more) This is delicious!

Chef: Alright, now who's next to-

[A very large slurp and gulping sound is heard, which grabs everyone's attention. We then cut to reveal that the cake has completely disappeared, and Candace, now with a large bulge shaped exactly like the cake in her belly, is licking her fingers and daintily wipes her mouth with the bib. She then notices everyone is staring at her.]

Candace: What?

[Candace then hiccups, causing the cake shaped bulge to dissolve into a slightly noticeable pot belly]

Candace: Oh, excuse me. So, what's next on this dessert feast?

[The chef talks as another table filled with several desserts is rolled in]

Chef: Well, next we have this very wide assortment of...

[He's then cut off when Candace then gobbles up every single dessert on the table, until there is not a single crumb left. Candace then lays down on the table, now sporting a basketball sized bulge in her stomach, making her look pregnant. She rubs her belly bump as she smiles contently, licking the frosting off her face. Candace then barely manages to sit up with her new bulge.]

Candace: Ah, what else got here? (Pats belly) Cuz' my tummy ain't quite satisfied yet. (She hiccups loudly)

[One Week later, We then cut to a giant pile of dirty dishes, stacked in a way that resembles Vasquez Rocks. We then cut to a close up of Candace's face, as she picks her teeth with a toothpick, which she then flicks away.]

Candace: Ahhhh... well I'd like to thank you all of you beautiful artists for your wonderful creations.

[Cut to all the cooks, covered in globs and wearing annoyed and tired expressions, thanks to all the work they had to endure.]

Candace: I just hope all my fellow tasters also enjoyed this delightful banq-

Chef: They didn't. They hardly got a single crumb.

[Cut to all the other tasters looking like skeletons.]

Chef: You ate absolutely everything in sight.

[We then zoom out to reveal Candace's blimp like belly is now so gigantic, that it causes the table to buckle under her girth. ]

Chef: You nearly took one of my employee's hands off.

[We see a female cook pointing to her bandaged hand, an annoyed and sour look on her face.]

Chef: And you drank so gallons of chocolate from the chocolate fountain you nearly went into a sugar coma. Do you have anything to say?

[Candace's cheeks then bulge out as her belly starts rumbling, and she belches so loudly that the force of her own belch blows out every window and bit of glass, then sends Candace flying back through the wall, leaving a hole shaped like her new fat self. She then just barely manages to stand up with her huge belly.]

Candace: Welp, better get home. Good bye everybody and thanks again.

[Candace awkwardly waddles away.]

Chef: Call her family and tell them she's banned from everything culinary and catering related.

[Candace makes her way to a cab, when her phone beeps. She looks and sees a text message from Jeremy.]

Candace: (reading) "Hey, sorry I won't be there to see you come back. See you in a few days. -Jeremy"

[As she reaches the cab, its driver's eyes go wide. She opens the door and works her way in.]

[At the Flynn-Fletcher home, Linda and Lawrence, Phineas and Ferb, and Stacy and Jenny wait for Candace's arrival.]

Phineas: I hope Candace had fun this past week.

[Perry then walks up.]

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

[There then comes a horrible screeching noise that is fast approaching. Everyone flinches and covers their ears.]

Lawrence: Sweet jelly babies, what is that noise?

[The sound continues until it stops in front of the house. Everyone is baffled until the hear a car door slam.]

Candace: Oh, here's a tip, get the suspension on this thing checked out.

Stacy: It's Candace! Hey, Candace, we're all back here!

Candace: Coming!

[Candace opens the gate and steps in.]

Candace: Hey, everyone.

[Everyone's jaws drop when they see Candace and her bulging belly.]

Candace: What? Why's everyone looking at me like that?

Linda: Candace, what happened to you?

Candace: What? (looks down to her belly) Oh, this. Yeah, I did pack on a little weight. (jiggles belly)

[Stacy and Jenny step to Candace.]

Stacy: A little weight? Candace, you look like you're getting in shape for sumo wrestling.

Candace: Hey, that's a bit harsh, don't you think? You know... (stops and lets out a combination of a hiccup and burp, a hiccurp) Excuse me, as I was saying... (hiccurps again) Excuse me. (hiccurps again) Excuse... (hiccurp)

[Candace's belt suddenly snaps, causing her belly to shoot outward and smack Jenny. Jenny is sent flying, and a huge crash is heard off camera. We then cut to reveal a perfectly Jenny shaped hole punched through the fence. Everyone runs over to see if she's alright.]

Candace: Jenny! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

[Jenny then climbs out of the her shaped hole look rather dazed.]

Jenny: I don't wanna go on that ride again, Daddy...

[Candace looks down to her giant belly and then reality hits her.]

Candace: Oh, look at me! I look like a bloated, beached whale! And Jeremy, what will he think when he sees me?

Linda: Candace, we'll help you through this. Starting tonight, you are on a diet.

[That night at dinner, everyone is given plates of food. When Candace is given her's, the only thing on it is several pieces of lettuce.]

Candace: This is all I get?

Linda: Do you want to lose the weight?

Candace: Well, yeah, but...

Linda: Do you?

Candace: Can't I...

Linda: Do you?

Candace: (sigh) Yes, Mom.

Linda: Good. Now, here, some low-fat dressing.

[The next morning at breakfast, Candace looks at a pair of rice cakes on her plate sadly, then looks to Linda.]

Candace: Please, can't I have one egg? A strip of bacon? The crumbs off your slice of toast?

[Linda shakes her head.]

Candace: Can I at least lick the jam off the knife?

Linda: Candace, honey, do you want to lose the weight?

Candace: Yes... (takes a bite out of her rice cake)

[In the middle of the night, we see Linda walking through the house. She is then hears the sound of things rattling around in the kitchen. Looking rather worried, Linda slowly creeps down the stairs to see if anything's wrong, and the sounds of food being fiddled around with get louder as she gets closer. When he gets down to the ground floor he sees a light coming from the kitchen. Linda walks slowly walks into the kitchen, and then his eyes go wide with shock when she sees Candace standing in front of an open fridge with a big sandwich filled with various foods. Candace licks her lips and is about to take a bite.]

Linda: Candace Gertrude Flynn!

[Candace yelps and tosses the sandwich into the fridge.]

Linda: What are doing you?

Candace: I'm just so hungry, Mom.

[Linda hugs her daughter.]

Linda: This will call for Solomon style wisdom...

[We cut to the next morning to find that locks have been placed on all the cupboards and the refrigerator.]

Candace: Well, that's one way of shedding pounds, not being able to even get to food.

Linda: Loosing weight isn't all about dieting, exercise does help with it.

[Candace is struck by an idea.]

Candace: Mom, where do you keep your old spandex?

Linda (Awkwardly): Um... in the attic.

[We then see Candace, now in a robe and sweatband, carries some spandex suit into her room. She goes behind her changing screen and we see her silhouette. She then takes out the spandex pants pulls them over her legs, but then struggles when she tries to pull them around her waist due to her massive belly getting in the way. She then lays down on the floor and pulls them upward as she sweat and grunts from her struggle, but gets them on, and she sighs in exasperation.]

[She then grabs her leotard, and does the same procedure of pulling it over her legs, but then she struggles to pull it over her giant round belly. Her face turns red and her eyes go bloodshot as she grunts and sweats trying to pull it over her belly, rolling and twitching around all over the floor. When she struggles to pull the leotard of her belly one last time, the tighter she pulls the more her belly seems to be pushed up into her chest, and when she finally snaps it on, her belly pops out, stretching on the leotard to just under it's limit. She awkwardly waddles as we hear her tight suit make squeaking noises.]

[Candace smiles and then picks up her belt, and tries to fit in around her waist, but struggles with that as well with her bulging gut in the way.]

Candace: DANG IT! MOM?!

[Linda enters and sees what Candace is trying to do.]

Candace: A little help, please?

[Linda comes behind Candace and tries to get the belt around her daughter.]

Linda: Suck it in, Candace.

Candace: (whining) I am!

[Linda freezes at this awkward moment. She then gets idea, and uses duct tape to get the belt together.]

Linda: Okay, there you go.

[Candace she runs on a treadmill, when she trips and she flops around on it. She is then shown grabbing onto one of those stretchy exercise machines, but it ends up snapping and yanking her her, smashing her into the wall causing her belly to break through it. Perry then walks in and sees the belly is blocking his entrance. Candace backs away and with his path clear, Perry continues on.]

[Candace tries to keep her balance but flops down onto her belly like a stability ball.]

[Later, Candace tries to see how much she weighs, and steps onto a scale. At the moment she fully steps onto it, the scale literally deflates like a rubber ball. Candace frowns.]

Candace: Oh, at this rate I'll never get rid of this bulge.

[Candace then happens to glance out the window to see her brothers sorting through boxes filled with various parts.]

Candace: What are they up to?

[Candace heads out of her room.]

Candace: Phineas and Ferb, you are so...

[Before she can take another step, Candace has to stop and starts heavily breathing.]

Candace: …busted.

[Candace makes her way down the stairs, nearly tiring herself out.]

Candace: Great, they're out doing something bust worthy and here I am with no energy to do so. Oh, this is so frustrating, so stressful. I gotta... I gotta... I gotta eat something. That'll help get my mind off it.

[As she says that, her mass suddenly shifts, resulting in her body turning to a pear shape. There is a loud ripping sound and Candace freezes. Linda looks and cringes.]

Linda: Candace, honey, do you feel a draft?

Candace: Yes, yes I do...

Linda: I'll be right back.

[Sometime later on, Candace now wears a gray sweatsuit, which just barely fits. She huffs in annoyance.]

Linda: Candace, I need to run a few errands. But Stacy and Jenny are here to see you.

[Linda leaves as Stacy and Jenny enter.]

Stacy: Candace, what happened?

Candace: There was some...shifting.

Stacy: Yes, yes there was.

[Stacy pokes Candace's belly, making Candace giggle much like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Stacy then pokes her again, and Candace starts to lose her balance and she then collapses on top of Stacy with a thud.]

Stacy: (muffled) Help! I can't breath!

[Candace struggles but Jenny helps roll her off Stacy. When then see the weight of Candace has flattened Stacy like a pancake and pressed her into the ground. Stacy then gasps for air as she pulls herself back to normal.]

Candace: Stacy! I'm so sorry! (she looks like she is about to cry) I need to be alone. (waddles off)

[Stacy and Jenny watch Candace waddle away.]

Jenny: Poor Candace. If only there was something we could do to really support her with what she's going through.

[Stacy thinks and is hit with an idea.]

Stacy: I think I got it. (whispers into Jenny's ear)

Jenny: That? Really?

Stacy: You want to help Candace? Then we gotta do this.

Jenny: All right...

[Stacy and Jenny rush off past Phineas and Ferb.]

Phineas: Hey, Stacy. Hey, Jenny. What's...

[Stacy and Jenny leave without saying anything.]

Phineas: Huh, must be in a rush. Now, back to the idea, I think Candace... (looks around) I just realized, where's Perry?

[Cut to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.]

Singers: Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

[Perry is already trapped in a knotted mess of what appears to be cords as Doofensmhirtz stands over him.]

Doofenshmirtz: Now, for my latest plan. I was watching old timey cartoons and there was something in them that got me thinking. In many, there would be voluptuous female character whose mere impossible figure would drive male characters gaga and they'd do anything to please her. Then it occurred to me that I could do the same. Behold, the Voluptuous-inator!

[He shows an inator shaped like an hourglass set atop spider-like legs.]

Doofenshmirtz: But this is awkward. I still haven't figured out how I'd use it to take over the Tri-State Area, and I still have a few other inators that might work. So you really caught me at a bad time, I am still brainstorming.

[Perry sniffs the air, and looks about trying to find the source of the sme]

[We then cut to Stacy and Jenny at a restaurant, finding themselves surrounded by very large platters stacked with heaping piles of various kinds of food. Jenny looks concerned.]

Jenny: (examines a mayonnaise coated fry wrapped in bacon and fried in cheese) Doesn't this go against my vegetarianism?

Stacy: Right now personal philosophy goes out the window. I mean, you think I'd actually eat this stuff? No, no I wouldn't. But it's to help Candace.

Jenny: Okay, but I'm not going to enjoy this.

[Stacy and Jenny begin stuffing their faces. Time passes and we then see Stacy and Jenny already sport some large balloon bellies, and have both visibly exhausted and nauseated expressions.]

Jenny: Ooohhh, I'm so stuffed. I don't think I can eat anymore.

Stacy: Well, we don't have a choice. (hiccups) We have to keep going, for Candace.

[Another plate of sandwiches is brought over and Stacy and Jenny take more.]

Jenny: (groans) For Candace.

[Back at the Flynn-Fletcher Home, Candace tries to get back to her exercising, when her phone rings and she answers it.]

Candace: Hello?

Jeremy: Hey, Candace, I just got back in town and I can come by your house soon.

Candace: Oh...that's great.

Jeremy: Is...something wrong?

Candace: No, not really.

Jeremy: All right, I can't wait to see you.

Candace: Oh, and Jeremy, don't be too shocked when you see me, please.

Jeremy: Um, okay. I'll see you later. Bye.

[Candace hangs up and frowns.]

Candace: There's gotta be a way for me to get lighter. Ooh, think, Candace. What's light? (sighs) Wait, that's it! Air!

[Candace looks out the window and sees her brothers. She waddles outside as fast as she can go.]

Candace: Phineas! Ferb!

[The boys turn away from their project.]

Phineas: Yes, Candace?

Candace: Any way you two could pump me full of air?

Phineas: What?

Candace: I figured it out. You guys rig up something, pump some some air into me, then standing to certain logic, the more air I have, the lighter I'll be.

Phineas: Um, I don't think that'd work, Candace.

Ferb: Even so, you'd likely end up larger.

[A thought cloud appears over Candace's and she imagines her brothers doing as she suggested. Having attached a pump, they inflate her to massive size, dwarfing the house.]

Imaginary Candace: SO BIG!

[Candace then starts floating and grows to a size where she casts a shadow over Danville.]

Imaginary Candace: SO BIG!

[Candace keeps growing until she floats away and off in outer space.]

Imaginary Candace: TOO BIG!

[A spacecraft then passes by her, attaching a sign reading "Planet Candace" to her.]

[Back in reality, Candace hangs her head.]

Candace: Yeah, that's a dumb idea. I've got no hope to lose all this weight before Jeremy gets here.

Phineas: Well, we're working on...

Candace: Oh, whatever it is, I've got too much to worry about to even want to bust you right now. Hey, where'd Stacy and Jenny go?

[We cut back to the restaurant. Patrons look on in disbelief at Stacy and Jenny, who now have gigantic blimp bellies, but continue to stuff their faces, almost losing breath from their binge. Both hold hoses which are shown to be connected to an ice cream machine.]

Stacy: You ready?

Jenny: For Candace.

Stacy: For Candace.

[Both then put the hoses into their mouths and Stacy nods. An employee then pulls a lever down, operating the machine pumping out ice cream. Ice cream flows through the hoses and Stacy and Jenny gulp it down.]

[Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc., Doofenshmirtz tries to work out any scheme he can think of. Perry smells something and looks down to the cords binding him. He carefully licks it, and finding actually edible, bites through it, freeing himself. Doofenshmirtz sees this and smacks himself in the forehead.]

Doofenshmirtz: That's what I get for using licorice.

[Perry then brandishes a length of licorice, twirling it around like a whip.]

Doofenshmirtz: Two can play at this game. (grabs a length of licorice) Where there's a whip, there's a way.

[The two then start whipping at one another. Suddenly, Perry's whip strikes the button on the Voluptuous-inator, firing it.]

[In the backyard, Candace stands about nervously, waiting for Jeremy's arrival.]

Candace: Ooh, Jeremy's gonna be here soon. I

[She is hit by the beam and instantly her obese form turns to a shapely figure. She gets an hourglass shaped figure, with an ample bust and rounded backside. Candace gasps in delight and she looks herself over.]

Candace: I don't know what just happened, but I love it! And Jeremy's gonna love it too! Ooh, I gotta go change! (rushes inside)

[Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc, the fight continues. This time Doofenshmirtz's whip strikes and activates a nearby inator, firing it.]

Doofenshmirtz: That was the Deflate-inator...

[Back at the yard, Candace steps out, wearing for normal outfit. continues to admire her new figure. But then is hit by the second beam, and her shapely figure goes back to her original skinny self.]

Candace: What? NO!

Jeremy: Candace?

Candace: Jeremy?

[Candace sees Jeremy arrive.]

Jeremy: Looking lovely as ever.

[Candace starts to blush.]

Candace: It was worth a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but mostly sweat.

Jeremy: (laughs) I wanted to tell you, I have only enough time to say hi, but I'll be by again this evening if you wanted to do anything.

Candace: Sure thing.

Jeremy: Great, I'll see you later.

[Jeremy leaves and Candace grins.]

Candace: Nothing can wreck this moment, unless of course,

[A giant pear shaped Stacy, while trying to keep her skirt in place, tries to squeeze her way through the fence, but has trouble getting through, leading an equally giant pear shaped Jenny to try and push her through, breaking part of the fence in the process and sending the two bouncing around.]

[They soon stop and get themselves upright and Candace's eyes go wide.]

Candace: STACY?! JENNY?!

[Stacy and Jenny are shocked seeing Candace back to her normal self.]

Stacy: CANDACE?!

Jenny: You're SKINNY again?!

[Candace's mouth hangs open in disbelief.]

Candace: Yeah, I don't know how it happened, but never mind that for now. What happened to you two?

Stacy: Well, we wanted to find some way to help you with what you were going through, so...

Jenny: We didn't want you to feel like you were dealing with it alone.

Candace: Oh, that was so sweet of you. But now, I promise I'll help you shed those unwanted pounds.

Stacy: Thanks.

[Stacy and Jenny then hug Candace, squishing her in between them. They then look around.]

Jenny: Candace?

Stacy: Where'd you go?

Candace (muffled): Girls, I'm suffocating.

Stacy: Candace, are you there?

[Stacy and Jenny both separate and look in other directions, giving Candace barely enough time to gasp for air before getting squished between Stacy and Jenny's sides this time.]

Jenny: Where could she be?

[The girls separate their bodies again giving Candace barely enough time to breathe]

Candace: Girls, WAIT!

[Candace then gets squished between Stacy and Jenny's butts]

Stacy: Well, I guess she went inside.

[Stacy and Jenny waddle away, but then we see Candace is flattened and pressed into Jenny's butt. She gasps for air, and Stacy and Jenny hear her gasping for air. Stacy turns around and see her flattened against Jenny's butt. Stacy then peels her off.]

Stacy: Ooh.

Jenny: Sorry about that.

Candace: (tired) Boys, help.

[Stacy and Jenny turn to find Phineas and Ferb staring at them. Ferb holds a hairdryer shaped device in his hands.]

Ferb: Whoa.

Phineas: Stacy, Jenny, you look like Candace did. And Candace...you're back to normal.

Candace: Uh, yeah. How I'm not sure. (shrug)

Jenny: Right now, I wish what happened to you would happen to us.

Phineas: You are in luck. We made this, a device that eliminates fat deposits. We did have this for Candace, but it looks like we really don't need it for her anymore.

[Ferb holds up the device and hands it to Phineas.]

Candace: You were building this and you didn't tell me? Why?

Phineas: We did try, but we kept getting interrupted.

Stacy: You think it'd work on us?

Phineas: It ought to. Just stand as close together as you can.

Stacy: We already are.

Phineas: Oh. (chuckles nervously) Okay, here we go.

[A beam of energy hits Stacy and Jenny and the two shake as the are returned to their normal skinny forms. After it's done, they look themselves over.]

Stacy: I have no idea where it all went, and I don't wanna know.

[Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc., Doofenshmirtz whips his piece of licorice around but hits a button on another inator. It powers up and fires a ray at the Voluptuous-inator, destroying it and turning it to a pile of ash.]

Doofenshmirtz: Well, that was my Inator Destroyer-inator. (takes a bite out of his licorice whip) So I guess that's it. Curse you, Perry the Platypus, and all that. We'll do this again at the usual time.

[Doofenshmirtz walks away and Perry exits.]

[Back in the Fylnn-Fletcher home, Linda and Lawrence return and come into the backyard.]

Linda: Hi, kids. How was... (sees Candace and her jaw drops) Candace, you're skinny again! How?

Candace: You wouldn't believe me, Mom. Anyone up for a snack? Boy, I know I am.

[Perry walks into the yard.]

Candace: Oh, there you are, Perry.


End file.
